Thoughts from Oswald

"The Method of Missions"
I kept looking for a line in this reading to put in quotes here, but the whole thing is so challenging, powerful, convicting, and encouraging, that I've ended up just putting a link up. I invite the reader to read it for yourself.

This reading encourages me that my first priority is not to drag kids out of mediocrity. My first priority needs to be knowing Him. My challenge is not to try and "fix" people because they aren't walking with God. My challenge is to lean on the power of Christ in me to communicate the Gospel and work through me to impact kids for the Kingdom. I must trust Him to transform lives. I must fight spiritually, not in this physical world, for their souls.

Meditating on the Word

Proverbs 17:9

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends. (NLT)

He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (NIV)

Overlook an offense and bond a friendship;
fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend! (MSG)

He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends. (Amplified)

Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. (ESV)

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare. (NLT)

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. (NIV)

A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. (MSG)

A SOFT answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. (Amplified)

A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger. (ESV)

Walking in these verses requires the Holy Spirit's power in my life. God, please help me to walk in the Spirit, not the flesh.

Fireproof

I have seen a ton of Christian movies over the years. By Christian movies, I mean movies with a)a decidedly Christian message, and b)made by Christians in some way shape or form. I can literally count on one hand the number of films that were well done in all ways - cinematography, storyline, acting, etc. That is to say, those were films that could compare favorably to any average Hollywood fare in those arenas. "The End of the Spear" and "The Passion" are two of the best. However, I can now add, "Fireproof" to that list without any hesitation. Thanks to our pastor and The Garden of Read'n (which purchased 1000 so that the local theater agreed to show the movie), Shari and I went and saw the movie last night (our first date in at least a month), and enjoyed it tremendously without feeling guilty because it was so poorly filmed, or had such cheesy acting, or anything of that nature.

Some of the highlights for us included the way the writers mixed humor with the seriousness of the topics involved. The interaction with the neighbors after a few of the fights had us in stitches. The writers covered the topics (marriage, selfishness, internet porn, idolatry, and the Gospel, to name a few) with grace, mixing all those topics in so well that they felt natural instead of forced in because we want to shove as much sin and Jesus stuff in as possible. The characters were real. The Godly men and women admitted to and struggled with their own issues, even as they talked about how they were fighting to overcome them, or had in the past. Those who were the antagonists of the show weren't demonized, and there wasn't some amazing, miraculous, unrealistic situation that converted/fixed them. The set-ups for themes and situations later weren't overdone or focused on so strongly that they felt staged. There weren't easy answers, and, like real life, the characters didn't see all the stuff we saw, so they made choices not knowing the outcome we knew would happen.

I don't want to make it sound like some perfect movie that will cause all viewers to get saved, all film critics to shout, "Oscar," or all marriages to get fixed. There were weak moments. There were some scenes where it felt like the actors were acting instead of being in character (if you understand what I'm saying). There were a few situations that felt a little forced and "preachy." However, I'd stack this movie up against any average movie Hollywood has to offer, and I think it could hold its own.

In the end, though, it was the message - and how it was communicated - that really made the movie amazing. This man was willing to fight for his marriage, even when he was losing. The tag line for the movie (used in an amazing way by Kirk Cameron's character) is, "Never leave your partner behind." I still get something in my gut just thinking about it. It's a movie that men will like because it's about fighting for something bigger than ourselves, and dealing with those things as men, not with our emotions. Women will love this movie because it's well balanced with emotional moments, and helping women deal with their emotions, and weed through the valid and not so valid ones. Neither the husband nor the wife are portrayed as the total villain, or the total victim. We see both sides of the pain, including the struggle of trying to fight when your heart isn't in it, keeping us from making excuses.

I don't care whether you've got a great marriage or it's struggling, or you aren't married at all. This is a must see movie. Check it out, and let me know what you think. If you have to wait until it comes out on DVD, then encourage your church to give a screening of it. I'm hoping to show it to our students before the school year's out.

Brothers

Yesterday my boys got out the blades and taught Benjamin how to blade. I didn't know we had three sets. So Shari pulled me away from the computer (where I shouldn't have been) and sent me outside. I thoroughly enjoyed my time just pulling them along the road. Eventually we went back inside and I got to read them all a story, too. Michael, in the meantime, went to a friend's house to watch the Seahawks cream the 49'ers. Another great game for our teams this weekend.

Shari finished painting the stairwell, with a little help from me for some hard to reach places. It looks so much better, it's amazing. I've got to call a friend in the church to help us get the barristers up, along with the top of the rail, but it's all painted, which is the worst part.

Sapphire Mountains From My Back Porch...

I love living in Montana. 8:00 AM Oct. 27, 2008.

For the first time ever...

This week Shari and I have been busy with home improvement projects. Last week, thanks to the generosity of some people in our church, we were able to purchase some shelf brackets, a little more stair railing to finish the top, paint, and some barrister columns. Wednesday I cleaned out some sheet rock, taking it over to our new church offices. Friday Shari spent the afternoon painting the barristers and priming the railing piece. Then she got ambitious and painted the stair well. We had tried painting that last year, thinking we had the right color, but we discovered after it dried that we didn't. So for over a year we've had a two-tone, brown stairwell. it's been ugly, but bearable. So, now it's all the same color again, with only the corners left to be done. That's my job, probably after hunting season, as I'm going to be spending almost every spare moment trying to fill our freezer. Anyway, she got that done last night while I was at a concert with the high school students.

Today (I'm writing this on Saturday, though it won't post until Sunday) we cleaned out the garage and put up some shelves that had been given to us lasts Spring. We took the table in the garage downstairs for Matthew, then put Matthew's old school table in the play room for puzzles, games, etc. After putting up the shelves, we moved some lumber over, and generally rearranged the garage for this look:


I have lived in one house or another with a garage for eight years. This is the first time in eight years that I have been able to put our car in the garage. I am stoked! It's a bit cramped to get out (thankfully, the kids get out the sliding doors), but it's a wonderful feeling to actually be able to get it in there.

In addition to all that, we also went to some friends' house, and they fed us pizza while we watched the UM Grizzlies totally wipe out the Northern Colorado Bears. It wasn't even fun to watch the second half. It's another fantastic season for the Griz. We'll get back at Weber State in the playoffs.

... On the other hand...

A couple of days ago, I posted about my concern regarding how school authorities seem to feel like they know better than parents how to raise children. I ended with this statement: "School districts need to quit thinking they know better how to parent than parents who are genuinely endeavoring to do so." I still believe that statement. However, there are two sides to every argument, and I think Walt Mueller voices the other side quite well.

In his book, "Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture," Walt talks about the "unique marks of an emerging generation" that's developing a post-modern world view. Here's a small quote that helps communicate what teachers and administrators have to deal with amongst students and parents that make them believe they can parent better than many parents... and those are the ones who aren't in jail or addicted to something.

"The ever-growing moral void is manifest in behavior in every corner of our society. Our schools have been especially hard-hit by the rise of postmodern amorality. Teachers spend a growing amount of time dealing with students' behavioral problems. This has necessitated the creation and implementation of school-based "character education" programs. One of the leading proponents of character education, Thomas Lickona, is convinced that "our society is in deep moral trouble" and "schools must do what they can to contribute to the character of the young and the moral health of the nation." (Thomas Lickona, Educating for Character, New York: Bantam Books, 1991, Pg. 5).

The irony is that part of the cause of this post-modern world view that's causing the amoral problems (and thus character problems that create behavioral problems) are from the same college profs that are teaching our teachers, who are now seeing the futility of the world-view they were taught. Without Christ, though, they just keep turning to more empty answers.

There are a ton of excellent teachers and administrators out there, Christian and not. I've met and worked with them. They are in the trenches, struggling to teach kids while dealing with kids with fetal alcohol syndrome, clothes smelling of marijuana or meth because the parents were using that morning, or clothes not warm enough because the parents are addicted to something, so they have no money to buy warm enough clothes. I still remember my wife dealing with a kindergartner while substituting in Concrete. The kid had more behavioral problems than some of the gang kids I worked with in Moses Lake, and less than halfway through the day, he just grabbed his bag and ran out of class because he didn't want to be there anymore.

What's an school district to do in a society that insists that we treat all kids and parents equally, even though there are obviously parents who are struggling to do their job as parents, and some who are working hard to avoid doing their job. And that doesn't take into account the grandparents raising grandkids.

So, while I hold to my original statement, I try and balance that with the fact that not every parent is parenting, and many school leaders have their hands tied by rules we as a society have put on them. The answers I come back to include things like being salt and light in the community, being involved in the system as best you can (even if you're homeschooling, you can get involved), and, first and foremost, pray, diligently and always.

A quick rant

Okay, parents. Please lend me your ears, and allow me to voice a little frustration. This is especially pointed at parents of teens, but all of us need to be thinking about this.

I understand that play is important. I understand that community is important. However, allow me to share about a conversation I just had. This past week a teen from our youth group has been going pretty hard. There aren't many who don't, just to survive school, but this one has been going more than most for a variety of reasons. Their parents have been, too. So, they're all starting to hit the wall, and feeling the need for rest. So, when do they choose to rest? Well, if you have two choices, you tell me which one you think should be chosen.
a)Attend a concert tonight, then head out for an overnighter with the girls. There is no guarantee of sleep, and every probability of very little sleep, if any.
b)Care for the children of young marrieds in the church so they can attend a movie to minister to their marriage. In short, perform a ministry to parents in our church.

Now, based on the fact that I'm writing this, guess which one was chosen. I'm not frustrated with the student... well, not much. It's frustrating that the parents don't see the issue, and even support their child's choices by enforcing that he/she needs to be home well before the babysitting event is over. What does that communicate regarding values? How about regarding commitment? Yes, this student committed to be at the babysitting event over a week ago, and the overnighter was planned Wed., and confirmed yesterday.

Would somebody slap me when I get my priorities wrong. At least let me know. In the meantime, would somebody else please pray that I can be gracious and kind to both the student and parents, even as I challenge them regarding this issue? Thanks.

Parent My Way... Or Else!

Why do school leadership (teachers, administrators, board members, etc.) continue to think they can parent better than the parent? This isn't about homosexuality. This isn't about education. This is about a parent's right to control what and how his/her children are being taught. When a school board refuses a reasonable request (whether it's policy or not) to notify a parent when something is going to be discussed, then the school board is at fault. This parent was considerably more reasonable than the school board in how he handled himself right up to the moment the police were called. In fact, in many respects, his persistence shows his tremendous support for the school district. Most parents would have pulled their child and transferred him, or homeschooled, or something of that nature. While I think I would have handled it differently, I support this man's right to what amounts to a non-violent protest. School districts need to quit thinking they know better how to parent than parents who are genuinely endeavoring to do so. Maybe I'm missing something (it's late, and I'm ready for bed), but I'm wondering why this is such an issue. I wonder if maybe it's because there are politics involved.

A Fall Afternoon

Today the leaves in our maple trees out front decided it was time to leave and fall. Within hours our yard was full of leaves, and the boys were having a blast raking them into piles. They jumped into them, built forts in them, and threw them at me when I came home. I had a short break this afternoon, and it was fun just to play with them in the leaves. Here are some pictures from this afternoon.


Mark added some furniture to his leaf fort.


The Mark and Matthew built a little fort with a spare blanket. You'll notice the slide, too. They had lots of fun on that. Ben tried it, but didn't like getting up there to ride down.


Matthew created a skateboard ramp out back with some lumber laying around. If you look carefully, you'll notice that my little daredevil has the plywood on top of a car... with perfectly working wheels. He's oblivious.

It's a good day when you can spend some fun time just playing in the leaves with your kids.

A New Mirror

I'm sitting in The Spot Internet Cafe and Coffee Shop, reading e-mail, blogging, and generally doing little things I can do to be productive while simply passing the time. The music isn't bad, but it is distracting. My reason for being here (other than a great excuse to have a peppermint mocha) is I'm waiting on our van. You see, our road is a bit narrow, with many cars, trucks, and trailers parked along the side (including mine). This, of course, makes for some adventures when 2 large vehicles are trying to pass each other. Last Wednesday night a truck tried to get out while the van was trying to get in, and our passenger mirror connected with a local trailer. We're extremely thankful that the damage to the trailer was zero, but, unfortunately, the mirror didn't fair so well. Just a plain mirror like ours can cost anywhere between $200-$300, plus labor. Our local Ford place was willing to do it all for about $280, which was quite reasonable for a new mirror. However, our local non-dealer shop, Peak Automotive, is willing to do a little hunting to help the locals, and they found us a perfectly good mirror at a Spokane junkyard. Parts, shipping and labor: $140. We're praying for God's provision, but cutting our costs in half is certainly an amazing start. So, they're done now. It was a 30-40 minute job for them. It probably would have taken me at least 2 hours. It's worth the money for the time and sanity saved. Now, off for home to get some real work done to reach and disciple students.

Fun Stuff from Jr. High Retreat

God did some great things at the jr. high retreat last weekend. An overnight trip is just the right length for jr. highers - leaving before they're totally exhausted, yet long enough that they open up and allow God to speak to them. I've already commented on some of the teachable moments God opened up. Here are some of the crazier moments we had, and not all of them can be blamed on jr. highers.

We had a great time playing games all Saturday afternoon. The highlight was sardines. Despite the forecast, the weather was great, and we were able to play outside for several hours. We found kids in the van, behind a mound of dirt, and behind a bush. We never did find Julie, one of the staff, so she'll probably use that hiding place again. Bummer. What cracked up the staff was some of the girls inability to understand the concept of sardines: to find the person hiding, then endeavor to stay hidden with them as long as possible, i.e. w/o making noise. It's like once they found somebody, they felt like they were done, and proceeded to carry on conversations. The staff simply chuckled. The kids were having fun, so that's what mattered.

Have you ever been pepper sprayed. Julie found a small, purse-sized spray bottle in her room Sat. afternoon, the type somebody might carry for self-defence. She brought it to Shari. Shari, being the curious type, wondered how it worked. It was only a little shot in a very large building, with very high ceilings. She sprayed it away from herself, of course. Didn't matter. She cleared that building out in about 1 minute as the pepper spread throughout the place. That stuff is amazing. We ended up having our evening talk around the campfire outside. It was a great experience, and we're all thankful for the campfire time, but I think we all know now why those spray work so well against thieves, assault, etc. I was still coughing three hours later, and the pepper smell didn't go away until the next morning.

Those were the play highlights of the weekend that I can think of. Thanks to all who prayed.

The Heart of Christ

What is the heart of Christ? If you could boil it down to a few points, what would they be? I'm sitting in the Camp Utmost lodge, watching groups of jr. highers put together skits based upon some of life stories of Jesus. Yesterday and today is the Jr. High Fall Retreat, and the Heart of Christ is our theme. Last night's speaker, Tyler Harrington of Frenchtown Community Church, spoke on James 1:22:

"But be doers of the word and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves."

The heart of Christ is to know God's Word, and do it.

This morning, Heather (Tyler's wife) is talking to the students about having the attitude of Christ:

"Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross." Phil. 2:5-8

They're going to take stories from the life of Christ, discuss the lesson, then create skits about how they can apply this attitude of Christ at home, school, or wherever. The heart of Christ is to have an attitude of humility and servanthood towards others.

I'm not sure what Tyler's got in mind for this afternoon, but these girls and one boy are being challenged, and are rising to the challenge. Last night I talked with "Richard" about what one area he can ask God to help him work on regarding doing what God says. He asked God to help him be less defiant towards his parents. Knowing what's going on at home, this is a great start for him. "Francine" doesn't have a relationship with God, but God's obviously pulling her towards Himself. She has asked me to put together some sort of daily devotional (a verse/chapter to read, and a couple of questions) regarding the messages I've been doing in Ephesians. I'm excited about these things. I wish you could see the skits, pictures of what God is doing in their hearts, proving, too, that He has a sense of humor, because these skits are hilarious.

I'll post more about the crazy shared memories of the retreat probably tomorrow. The camp fire wasn't planned, but learning how to use a lost can of pepper spray had something to do with it.

Addendum: I was talking to "Richard," and he shared the lesson he heard last night from Tyler, which I didn't catch until he reminded me. The heart of Christ is that we work at our relationship with God, not just coast. Likewise, we need to work at our relationships around us. Great insight for a 12 year old.

Touching Base

We're heading in the weekend, I'm getting ready for tonight's youth meeting, and I wasn't able to post yesterday, so here are some random thoughts, happenings, and such.

In 14 years of youth ministry, I don't remember one student have an appendicitis attack. In the last year I've had two students. Last night Billy went in to the hospital. He had just returned from a short road trip with his family the day before, so everybody's thankful it happened when it did. He's doing well, but he's expected to be in there for a few days due to some complications during the surgery. I bring it up because I was able to go and visit him this afternoon after getting a text from his sister. I hadn't seen him for a while, so it felt good to have some face time, even if he was in pain and exhausted.

Last night was Berean Club, our weekly jr. high meeting. After some play time, worship, and prayer, I brought the girls (yes, still all girls) in for a discussion about the last few weeks. What have they received so far from the first chapter and 1/3 of Ephesians. The number one answer (when I was finally able to get them to be serious and open up): God's love for them unconditionally is amazing. One young lady - I'll call her Barb - was especially impacted by that news. She doesn't have a relationship with God, and is still trying to decide if she even wants one. It was a great night of affirming them, but I had to kick myself afterwards (I'm my own worst critic of these things) because I didn't just affirm them, but started teaching again. Rats! Still, it's exciting to know that they are grasping something like that. So, the next step will be to help them take that understanding and learn what it looks like to turn their beliefs into a daily walk in daily life.

This weekend we're heading into the Jr. High Fall Retreat. It's looking like a great time, with a fantastic speaker from Frenchtown, and a great team of staff. We'll have 10 kids taking part, and I'm looking forward to watching God do some wonderful things. Please pray for us, especially as Nathan and I spend time with the one young man who's coming.

Shari spent the past few days, as well as days last week, canning and freezing. The primary product: applesauce, with many of the apples from our own tree. God blessed us with enough apples, between our tree and some wonderful people in the church, for 61 quarts of applesauce. That's almost 10 more than last year. In addition, we were given plums, and Shari picked at least 6 batches worth of grapes. Each batch, when liquified down, will make about 4-5 pints of grape jam. We're freezing most of it for now, as Shari doesn't have time to make and can the jam. However, don't be surprised if you get some jam for Christmas this year... or Thanksgiving... or just because.

I think that's about all for now. The boys are doing well. Shari's still sick, but had a good day yesterday and today. Your prayers are appreciated.

Being with my Father

It's 7:15 am, and Ben's just walked into my office, interrupting my time with God, though admittedly I'm struggling to actually focus on my own Father. Whatever I'm feeling is of no consequence, though, in light of my son waking up and seeking me out. So I pick him up and hold him. For what seems like a good 5-10 minutes, but is really only 1-2 (an eternity for Ben), Ben sits there quietly snuggling in my lap. Then he starts asking questions about what we're doing today, if it's AWANA day or not, whether the girls in the pictures will go swimming, if there are ducks in the river, makes comments about what would happen if the girls through rocks at the ducks, etc. Eventually he gets up and goes to play "quietly." Uh-huh. Well, he's not yelling and screaming, anyway.

So, as I sit there holding him for those few peaceful seconds of snuggling (something I value with all my boys, but especially with him, since he's not one to sit still or quietly for very long), I contemplate on yesterday's post. If I enjoy snuggling with my son, with all my imperfections and selfish tendencies, how much more does my heavenly Father enjoy snuggling with His son - me (and the reader, if you choose to put yourself in that seat). While I can't tell how much Ben gets out of it, I'm reminded how much I've gotten out of it in the past, and realize again how much I need that "snuggle time" with my heavenly Daddy. I don't know why I forget that, or get to thinking that God needs to always be interceding or praying in other ways. I just do, so He sends my own boys to remind me of what's important to Him. So, have you, the reader, snuggled with your Daddy lately?

Morning Thoughts for Oct. 14, 2008

"My Utmost for His Highest" and "Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture" - Two books that are totally different in style and content, but this morning, as I read a little from both, I was challenged and encouraged.

"'Then the eleven disciples went . . . to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them' ( Matthew 28:16 ). If I want to know the universal sovereignty of Christ, I must know Him myself. I must take time to worship the One whose name I bear. Jesus says, 'Come to Me . . .'— that is the place to meet Jesus— 'all you who labor and are heavy laden . . .' ( Matthew 11:28 )— and how many missionaries are! We completely dismiss these wonderful words of the universal Sovereign of the world, but they are the words of Jesus to His disciples meant for here and now."

"'If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you . . .' ( John 15:7 )— that is the way to keep going. Where we are placed is then a matter of indifference to us, because God sovereignly engineers our goings."

These words from today's reading by Oswald Chambers draw me to Christ, and encourage me to spend time just being with Him, maybe - but not necessarily - worshiping Him in the process. Whether in worship or just being, that is where my strength lies to do what He's called me to do, whether it's spiritual warfare, loving my family, or pastoring kids and their families. I must spend time just being with Jesus. Lately I've struggled to just be with Him. I'm either interceding, studying for a message, or just reading for my own growth... yet not growing, because my spirit isn't engaged with Him, just my mind.

"The church faces a moment of unprecedented opportunity. The youth culture is calling. If we fail to listen and faithfully respond, we're effectively telling them we don't care or we have nothing to say. We hold back the good news from those who so desperately need to hear. Perhaps saddest of all is that we don't even know when we're doing it."

"Before we speak for Jesus, we must live among our young people - like Jesus. We must participate in their live - like Jesus. And we must listen - like Jesus. Let's begin our journey to communicate to the emerging generations by listening - listening to generations that need to hear, understand, and respond to the good news. It's a generation Jesus invites to 'come' (Mt. 11:28-29). It's a generation Jesus commands us to 'go' (Mt. 28:19-20)."

These two paragraphs from the end of chapter 1 of Walt Mueller's book were challenging and encouraging. They challenged me to not only continue pursuing students into their world (not just expect them to come to mine - the church building and activities), but also to make sure that I'm listening to my own kids, that they don't feel like they're being ignored and having to figure out this complex life on their own. It encouraged me that what I'm doing, pursuing students into their world, is exactly what is needed, and -more importantly - what Christ would do if He were still on earth in the flesh. In essence, He is - in us - and we're called to do what He did. I don't just have the gift of evangelism (though that may or may not be true), but I have the heart of Christ for the lost. That shouldn't be just me, but it should be all of us, especially those in spiritual leadership, even as we "teach others to obey all that [He has] commanded you."

So, I must go and do like Jesus, but I also must come and be with the Father... like Jesus.

Iron Man Movie

Last night I had a rare "Guy Night" where I actually went with some guys and we watched a thoroughly "guy" movie: Iron Man. I had been told it was a fantastic movie, and the reviews I had read really gave it some high marks. So I think I went in to it with some pretty high expectations.

There was one scene in the first five minutes that showed the beginnings of a one-night stand for the main character, which really bugged me, even if it was put in there for a good reason (to show the contrast between the main character's life before and after his experiences in Afghanistan). While there wasn't any body shown that I don't see at the local high school (unfortunately), it certainly wasn't what I (or the guys with me) needed going into our minds.

So, if I could skip the first five minutes and just get the story line before hand, I think I would like the movie. Overall, it was a good movie after that. There were fantastic fight and flight sequences, some amazing cars, and some good comedy. Best of all, the story did a great job of showing themes of redemption, living for what's important, and leaving a legacy that matters. I can certainly see why those who saw it in the theaters (big screen, surround sound, etc.) enjoyed it tremendously. I can also see some possible uses to communicate Christ. It was a good flick, and I'm glad we got to watch it.

In the end, though, while I could recommend it with reservations, I don't think I'd buy it, or even watch it again unless somebody who hasn't seen it really wanted me to watch it with them. It just didn't get to me. In fact, I get more depth, discussion, and thought provoking stories from watching NCIS and Numb3rs than I did that movie. So, I went home and watched Friday's episode of Numb3rs with Shari. Still, the huckleberry-rhubarb pie the Davies served was worth watching the movie for.

A Good Day of Rest... Rest?

Well, we didn't exactly rest yesterday, but I give praise to God for the work He helped us to get done. It was a day of refreshing for me, even though not restful.

We started the morning cleaning up from the night before, and beginning to process all the grapes Shari had picked Friday. We have a large box full of grapes, and there are still more on the vine. Feel free to come pick some. Anyway, while Shari began to process those, I started getting stuff out to fix Michael his birthday omelet. Unfortunately, I received a phone call from a concerned parent. The end result was a slight family crisis, but an opportunity to speak into a young man's life in a way I could never have lined up on my own, and a tremendous amount of appreciation on his part. We had a time of prayer, and I will continue to pray that he takes the lessons he learned to heart.

So, I missed the omelets, but made myself a great egg, cheese, and bacon sandwich. I didn't miss the grapes. I joined Michael to work on processing them (picking them off the stems, washing them, and liquefying them in the blender), while Shari took what she'd already processed and began making grape jam. We got about 15 pints done before we ran out of jars. We were also able to liquefy another 10 cups (a little over 1.5 batches) before we had to move on to cleaning the house for company.

So, I set the boys to work. We vacuumed, put toys away... put more toys away... and cleaned up the toy closet. They had already made their beds. I vacuumed their rooms, and Michael vacuumed my office, which was great. Then company arrived, and the party began.

So, that's a glimpse at a day that wasn't very restful, yet was somehow a day of rest. After the party we ended with some great friend time. I close the day feeling like much was accomplished, and that God used me to care for a student, reminding me that I got into pastoring to care for students and their families, and to point them towards Christ through relationships. Yeah, it was a good, restful day. Now, to get some sleep.

Good Friends

Tony and Cyndi have become very dear to us. They moved here from San Antonio, and are an amazing couple for Texans. They're even willing to lower themselves and admit that Montana is almost as good as Texas... almost. Anyway, they moved up here to become youth pastors at a church plant. Unfortunately, that position went south in less than a year, with all but the senior pastor quitting over a period of three months. After some false starts with a few other churches, and still believing (though not understanding why) that God has called them to Missoula, Tony has started working for Missoula Youth For Christ. So, that's how they got here.

Over the past year we have had a unique relationship occur in a very short time, and it's been amazing. We have similar theologies, philosophies of ministry, and personalities, and even a similar sense of humor. I say we, because Tony and I are similar, and Cyndi and Shari are similar. Not the same, but similar, which makes for some fun and crazy times talking, eating, and playing Settlers of Catan, as well as watching our kids play. The fact that we're both transplants into Missoula adds to the sense of camaraderie and friendship we've experienced.

Saturday night they joined us for Michael's birthday party, then stayed afterwards for dinner. Michael didn't care what we had, as long as it went well with mashed potatoes. So, we broke out pork chops and broccoli. Shari was sitting there wondering how to cook them, and Tony started making suggestions. Cyndi warned us not to let him, but Shari opened our spice cupboard anyway. Tony went to work, sprinkling a little of this and a little of that onto the chops. In the end, our opinion of Cyndi's tastes in food went down, and Tony's cooking ability went up. Even Cyndi had to agree that the chops were some of the best we've ever eated (even better than mom's - Gasp!). We enjoyed the evening with good food and good company, and our kids enjoyed continuing to build their friendships. Now, what to do about Benjamin and his relationship with their daughter (about a year younger than Ben). We've got a few years, I guess.

Michael's birthday

Today we celebrated Michael's birthday. It was a fantastic time with Michael's friends. They played a racing board game called Formula De that my pastor loaned him. Shari made an excellent yellow cake with a pineapple topping, then Cool Whip on top. Then Michael opened his presents. Who would have thought an 11 year old would enjoy a fruit basket for his birthday, or t-shirts, either? His favorite, though, was/is a DVD of his current favorite band: PureNRG. He had a blast watching that after everybody had left. So, Michael's an 11 year old now. One more year, and he's in the youth group. A year after that, and he's an official teenager. We were talking about going back, or skipping ahead in age, and he suggested that we were right, and asked if he could just have the keys to the car now. I said: No!

I don't abuse my children... really.

I don't have to, they do it themselves. Here are pictures from their latest escapades.


Pic. #1: Matthew, Mark, and a friend were wrestling downstairs. Matthew went over his friend's back, and landed on a Lego. He now has a hole in his head the size of a Lego stud. We thought he might have the Lego logo on his head, but we couldn't find it.


Pic. #2: For 11 years I've had a razor, and have never really worried too much about my kids getting into it. Even with Matthew, we didn't do much more than just put it in the cabinet. Now there's Ben. This evening, after brushing his teeth, he apparently got curious. He tried to shave his lip. I came in just after he'd tried, and he was trying to cut his thumb off... or something like that, feeling the blade with his finger. There's blood everywhere, but he didn't seem to notice. He didn't like it too much when I made him sit for 10 minutes with a wet rag in his mouth, but the blood stopped flowing.


Pic. #3: I wasn't here for this one, but Friday night Mark and Michael were playing. My understanding of the situation is that Mark tried to put a bowl on Michael's head. In the process, instead of putting it on his head, he clocked Michael alongside the head. Michael had quite the headache Friday night.

So, should you see our children, feel free to ask them about their most recent wounds. But know that we had nothing to do with it, and we truly do care for and love our children.

Exiles

For the record, I've taken a break from reading, "Exiles." As I mentioned a few days ago, this book is a bit dry, with long chapters that make reading it difficult for me. So, I've taken a break from reading that one. In fact, when I come back to it, I'll probably pick up a chapter or two later, as a quick skim through the chapters ahead leaves me going, "Blah!" They're not bad, just not where I am right now. However, chapter 12's opening paragraph (The chapter's on "doing church") has this to say:

"In the work that I do around the world with missional churches I am regularly asked about how exiles should worship... In fact, barely a week goes by when someone doesn't contact me and ask to come and 'check out' our community, smallboatbigsea. This request is always followed by the next question: 'What day and time do you meet?' What assumption lies behind such a request? Answer: that we are primarily defined by a weekly meeting, and that if you attend that meeting, you can see all you need to see to get an understanding of our community... Why can't we think of churching together as a web of relationships? Why are we obsessed with the singular event rather than seeking the rhythm of a community churching together."

Then chapter 13 talks about worshiping God in song, and the authors thoughts on that. The title: The Songs of Revolution. Subtitled: The Song: Jesus Ain't My Boyfriend. He starts out talking about how so many love songs to Jesus that we sing in our worship services are songs he simply can't sing to his God. This, too, ought to be a fascinating chapter on rethinking what worshiping God in song really means.

I look forward to finishing this book in the near future.

Enclosed spaces

In light of Shari's fun experience yesterday in the MRCP machine. For more comics like this (for free, or a small fee), go to GoComics.com.

Crazy Hair

Last night was "Crazy Hair Night" at AWANA. I'm afraid we didn't get any pics of the boys with their very crazy, multi-colored hair. However, last Saturday all us boys got haircuts. Michael and Matthew decided to plan ahead and get their hair cut crazy. So, for your enjoyment, here's a cell-phone camera shot in poor light of what the boys chose to do. We may or may not finish the job this Saturday.

Where I am

This morning I cried out to God. I want to experience His presence and power, and right now, things are feeling kind of dry. It's not for a lack of prayer time. I still maintain that discipline every morning, but - right now - it feels like just that: a discipline rather than a relationship. In fact, I realized a few days ago that I sense God's presence the most during those times before youth group meetings, board meetings, or other meetings when I take the time to go early to worship and pray. Those moments when I can worship freely, w/o fear of offending others, waking them up, or making them uncomfortable because of the volume, freedom, or style are the times when I am most relaxed and able to truly focus on God, hearing His voice, and praying from my heart.

I was listening to Pastor Doug's sermon on "The Spirit Empowered Church Pt. 3" this morning while riding my exercise bike. Doug gave a great reminder. I don't remember the exact quote, but the point was that we need to do whatever it takes to not only guard our heart, but have times of refreshing from and with the Lord. Those times are simply too rare for Shari and I. Honestly, they don't happen on Sunday mornings, so we need to find it elsewhere, and more often than once a quarter or less. What's true is that if we find those times, we'll have our cups full to pour out to others. Right now my cup is pretty empty, even with daily times with God. I need to find some place and time to be refreshed. Where isn't tough, but when might be a bit difficult.

Please pray that Shari and I would be able to find those places and times, both together and separately.

Tithing

I'm working on my Sunday School lesson for this Sunday... or should be, if I wasn't blogging. So, I'm not really working on it. I'm actually thinking about last Sunday's lesson, also on tithing. I'm actually going through a series with the high school students on traditions of the church, and where they came from. I had a fantastic time talking about worshiping God through music, and now I'm enjoying discovering what I really believe and shouldn't believe about tithing. So, here's thought and challenge for the reader regarding tithing. For the purpose of ease of communication (and typing), please understand tithing to mean not just the 10 percent, but also offerings above and beyond that.

I can tell you a number of ways God called us to use our tithes, and the reader probably could to. However, as I was researching this stuff, I started looking at where God calls us to bring the tithe. Based on my research, I believe stronger than ever that, ideally, we should be bringing a vast majority of our tithes (at least the 10 percent part) into the church, and the church leadership should be passing out those funds as they see needs. There are a few exceptions, including Jesus be supported outside the church (The local synagogues weren't terribly happy with him. Funny that He didn't get any of their support.), and it could be argued that people gave to Paul to support his missionary journeys and/or the church in Jerusalem (read: poor and hungry during that time). But even Paul's missionary journeys were, by and large, supported through churches, with money given to the churches by individuals.

I've often said that if the American church were doing its job, para-church organizations wouldn't be needed. In contrast, I was recently told that if I wanted to do evangelism, I need to go join an organization like Youth For Christ, and not do so much evangelism work out of the church. Hmmm... Okay, that was a itsby-bitsy rant. My point being that I wonder if most (maybe not all) of the parachurch organizations - and, therefore, the money that goes to them - are because the church isn't doing its job, and that money should really be going through the churches. It's something I'm simply thinking about and throwing out for discussion. I'm not going to stop supporting World Vision, Youth Dynamics, or YFC. I'm just thinking about what God's will is verses what we do because we're lazy, apathetic, ignorant, or whatever other reasons there are - valid or not.

On a side note, I would encourage you to go here and here to check out some great articles on tithing. I was really impressed with not only the information, but also the clear, logical, and engaging way this pastor writes.

These are somebody's daughters and sons

I picked this up from Jenny, who's seen this stuff first hand. The preview alone is powerful. Don't hesitate to get involved. For one place to start, go to Seth's website. Another place is to read Zach Hunter's book and get involved in his campaign to free the slaves (and here). A third way is simply to sponsor a child through Compassion International or World Vision. A sponsored child won't be sold into slavery. Personally, we've chosen to sponsor a child through World Vision, as well as a smaller organization, Mavuno Village. One of the founding members is our pastor's sister-in-law. So, after all that reading, here's the video that started me rethinking about this again.

Shari's morning adventures

For the past month Shari's been developing that wonderful pain in her upper-right abdomen area, just below her ribs. In short, the symptoms fit well with gall-bladder problems. Unfortunately, she doesn't have one anymore. So this morning Shari and I left the house and boys in Judy's fantastic care at 7:15 am for the hospital. At approximately 8:30 am, Shari was put to sleep and received an upper endoscopy. I'm currently sitting in the hospital next to her bed in post-op. She's sleeping soundly. The procedure isn't that big of deal (5-10 min.), but Shari reacts very well to light doses of anesthesia. She's out like a light, so we'll be here for a couple of hours yet. Thursday we'll go in for another test, an MRCP. It's similar to an MRI, but it's for the abdomen area, specifically for finding things like gall stones and such. I'll keep you posted on how things go.

Update: The doctor didn't find anything, so now it's on to the MRCP.

Some things just don't get old

Last Thursday night, Julie (Jr. High Staff) and I spontaneously started into Abbot and Costello's "Who's On First" routine. The jr. highers listening had no clue what we were doing (Shari just shook her head and smiled). When we discovered that none of the jr. highers even knew who Abbot and Costello were, not to mention the most famous comedy routine in history (or one of the top 5), we decided it was time for some cultural education. So, for those reading who may have forgotten; for those who were born way too late to enjoy good comedy; for those who just like a good laugh - here's my very favorite comedy routine of all time, but a pair of the best in the business.

Exiles - Why It's Worth Getting

So, yesterday I talked about why I don't like "Exiles", and gave some examples of why I've struggled to stay engaged with it. However, there are some chapters that have really challenged and encouraged me. They've challenged me to think about how I live my life - lifestyle habits that I enjoy that may not be the best. I don't necessarily agree with him, but Mr. Frost has caused me to at least think about some things. He's also encouraged me to by reminding me and affirming me that I'm right on in how I'm pursuing ministry. So, getting to the whole reason I started this post yesterday (I seem to always get carried away once I get started on something like this), please check out these posts and let me know what you think.

Ray Oldenburg wrote "A Great Good Place" in 1990. From that book, Mr. Frost makes these observances about our culture today, and the importance of what Mr. Oldenburg and Mr. Frost call "Third Places":

"... a celebration of the places where people can regularly go to take it easy and commune with friends, neighbors, and whoever shows up... According to Oldenburg, third places are those environments in which people meet to develop friendships, discuss issues, and interact with others."

The first two places are our homes and our places of employment. Frost makes the argument that the church is the "third place" for most Christians, while those who don't know Jesus typically go anywhere but the church. The problem is that we therefore don't interact. There's this divide - we're at church, and they're not. If they do come to church, they're not comfortable because we don't make it a place where they can feel comfortable, but instead create a place where we're comfortable, then expect them to be comfortable, too. Mr. Frost's assertion is that if we want to impact our communities for Christ, we must pursue people like Christ did - by going to where the people are in their third places, not expecting them to come to ours. He also addresses hospitality and inviting people into our homes, but I'm especially interested in this concept, as I believe he's completely right on, and that's why many people see our churches as irrelevant. Not only that, but that's why we're struggling to have any impact in our communities - we're preaching to the already saved, because those who don't know Jesus aren't there. Even when we put on events to draw them in, it's with the idea that they'll commit to coming to our third place in the long run. We've become a Christian ghetto, and are quite comfortable with it, and don't understand why those "not-yet-Christians" don't want to join us.

Mr. Frost has other fascinating challenges. He discusses five promises that Christians must make in order to live our lives Biblically:

We will be authentic.
We will serve a cause greater than ourselves.
We will create missional community.
We will be generous and practice hospitality.
We will work righteously.

Don't let the semantics throw you off. For instance, I almost missed a key element until I realized it was semantics. He challenges us to live in "communitas," going on to explain it quite thoroughly. At first I blew it off, as he seemed to be twisting community into something else. Finally I realized that he was saying something I've been advocating for several years: shared, intense experiences. While his "communitas" is a bit more involved, the concept is right on. I loved it, and want to find more ways to do so rather than just be content with going to church and calling that community.

So, despite the struggles I listed yesterday, I still recommend this book. I may not give it a 5-star rating, but I'd definitely give it at least 3.5 out of 5. Check it out.

Thoughts from my current reading...

Somewhere along the way, I read a review in somebody's blog about the book, "Exiles: Living Missionally in a Post Christian Culture," by Michael Frost, and put it on my Amazon Wish List. Last fall, our church voted to give the pastors a book allowance. So, in my quest to learn how to reach our post-Christian culture more effectively, I decided to get the book this fall and start reading it.

I'm about half way through the book, right now, and I'm about half-way impressed by it, overall. On the negative half, I don't think the author does a good job of balancing all that the Bible says. Instead, he seems to focus on only one side of many arguments. For instance, in Chapter 2, "Jesus the Exile," Mr. Frost talks about the negatives of creeds, and how their dogmatism can keep us from enjoying our relationship with Jesus. I understand his concern, and believe that it can be valid. However, Mr. Frost doesn't balance that concern with the reason the creeds were made in the first place: To combat heresy, such as believing that Jesus wasn't human at all. I don't think he's throwing out creeds, so I'm not saying he's completely off base. I just think he could do a better job of balancing his points.

However, that might have been difficult to do for another reason I've been put-off by this book. The chapters are super long, and cover multiple topics within a topic. Maybe I'm lazy, but I like to have my books broken up a bit more. That's a taste thing on my part, but I thought I'd mention it.

Also in chapter 2, Mr. Frost (as do many other "Emergent" and post-Christian writers) tends to focus primarily on Jesus, and loses sight of Biblical principles as a whole. In other words, what Jesus may have said or done is given tremendously more weight than anything Paul or Peter said, or what might have been written in the Old Testament. There seems to be a logical reason for this, one that I've read by Tony Campolo. The logic goes like this: If Jesus is God, and He came down to show us God's character and direction, then anything He said needs to have more weight than what any mere humans might have said. My problem with that is that all of the Bible is God's Word, so therefore, it all must have equal weight to a degree. Now, I'm aware that is a simplistic way of looking at it, and I agree with their logic to a degree, but we can't simply state that whatever Paul stated doesn't carry as much weight as Jesus.

There are probably other things I've read that I've shaken my head at, but those things are two that come to mind as I flip back through the book. In general, I'm not sure if it's his writing style, or something bugging me in the back of my mind, but I just haven't been able to dig into this one like I had hoped. On the other hand, there are many things that I find challenging and positive about this book. Please read tomorrow's post for some reasons to pick up this book, even when you may not agree with everything.

But why?

My dad always hated the question, "Why?" That could be because we always seemed to ask it at the most inopportune times, or maybe because he didn't always have a good reason, and didn't want to admit that it was just because he felt like it at the moment. Whatever the case, he was in a world of hurt because we learned it from our mom, who often asked that questions about anything and everything. So much for my family's silly dysfunctions. Now I'm a youth pastor, and part of my job is trying to help students not only understand truth, but - as best we can as humans - understand the why of truth.

So, why should we trust our pastor. After all, there are plenty of pastors out there who have broken that trust, and hurt people deeply, some so deeply that they've walked away from God. That's just the emotional issues - that doesn't include the fallout from that broken trust, or the physical, financial, or other ways they have broken that trust. Now I haven't been thinking about this as much as my last post, but here are some thoughts off the top of my head because I believe in giving whys and not just shoulds.

First, we must trust pastors until proven otherwise simply because we as spiritual sheep need to be able to trust a pastor of some sort. How many times have literal sheep been let down by a literal shepherd. Yet those same animals (the ones that live through the wolf attack) turn right around and trust the next shepherd because they have to, or they won't be able to care for themselves. Likewise, we have got to trust our shepherds simply because to not trust them is to set ourselves up for even worse pain than if we trust them and get hurt.

Second, we must choose not to allow the excuse of being burned before simply because, if we allow that excuse, we'll never trust again, and that's not healthy either. Much of this has to do with forgiveness, and who our ultimate trust is in, but it also has to do with recognizing that we all are fallible, and we must learn to accept that even a pastor will hurt us occasionally - just as we'll hurt others. Does that mean nobody should trust anybody? We were created for relationships, and, as long as we live in the fallen world, we will hurt and be hurt. Therefore, within reason, we must choose to trust people, even if people in similar roles have wounded us. I guess what I'm saying here is that pastors are human, too, and not trusting them because we've been hurt by pastors before is simply not logical, Christ-like, or healthy. It would be like not trusting all police in a city simply because you had one bad experience with one officer.

It makes me think of the situation where Paul called Peter on the carpet, as related by Paul in Galatians 2. Peter was okay being with non-Jews until Jews he wanted to impress showed up. Should the apostles have kicked Peter out of leadership simply because he broke those Gentiles' trust? Should Paul have no longer trusted any of the apostles from Jerusalem because of Peter's mistake. Not a chance, yet that's what many do with the pastoral role.

Finally, we need to trust our pastor because the Bible says that God has given them watch over our soul. Therefore, if God trusts them, then we need to. Not only that, but if we don't trust them, we're saying we don't trust God's direction. Finally, if we can't trust them, then we can't allow them close enough to fulfill the job God's given them: To watch over our soul. So we're not only hurting them, but ourselves as well.

Of course, all of this is presupposing a pastor who hasn't already caused wounds, or broken trust. Dealing with that beyond just saying, "Forgive" is a deep struggle beyond the parameters of this post, and even of this blog. That's a struggle for a face-to-face discussion, but a struggle definitely worth having, as all of us need to also face the fact that we, too, have caused wounds and broken trust, and need forgiveness and the opportunity to rebuild trust and relationship.

So, for those struggling to trust their pastor(s), I would like to encourage you with a couple of ideas. 1)Ask God for clear direction what pastor you're supposed to be putting yourself under, then obey and trust God. Even if that pastor ends up wounding you (and he probably will to a small degree, at least, since he's human and has bad days like the rest of us), God is using him to care for your soul, and God wants to get some things done in you. That's why he sent you to that church. 2)If you've been wounded, don't automatcally or reflexively jump ship. It may take time to rebuild that trust, but rebuild it you must. God not only commands forgiveness, but He also has created us to be in community, and part of community is pursuing reconciliation and rebuilding of trust. 3)Finally, if the wound is too great to be healed while in the midst of the battle, or if the broken trust is too huge to safely seek reconciliation (e.g. sexual abuse, financial abuse of the church, etc.), or if the pastor's relationship with God leads you to believe that he's no longer able to care for your soul, then there's nothing wrong with asking God for a new pastor in your life. Still, I encourage you to keep praying for that pastor. God still loves him, and his wounds are just as real as yours, even though different, and maybe self-inflicted.

In closing (since that last paragraph seemed a little on the negative side), I want to add that, as human as all pastors are, a vast majority of them are Godly men who truly love the sheep under their care. Even when they wound a sheep, they will seek to pursue reconciliation as soon as they realize what they've done. They are doing the best they can under heavy spiritual - and sometimes congregational - attack. Pray for your pastor. Trust your pastor. To paraphrase Paul, "Follow your pastor as your pastor follows Christ." (I Cor. 11:1)

Trusting Your Pastor Pt. 2

Yesterday I talked about how you can trust - or build trust - with your pastor (See Part 1 here). I want to reiterate that I understand there are people out there who have been wounded by their pastor. I am not saying that one should blindly trust their pastor if their pastor has a track record of hurting people. However, if that track record doesn't exist, to not trust your pastor simply because you've been wounded, or you're afraid of being wounded, is not an option. I've got a post ready to go for tomorrow on that, but I wanted to get this one up today... and proof that post before I put it up tomorrow.

So, assuming that you truly want to show your pastor that you trust him, and you want to act on that trust, how can you do so. Yesterday I talked about pursuing relationship with him in order to not only show that you trust (and therefore care) about him, but also to build on that trust (and allow him to learn to trust you - another important issue, especially between elders and pastors, sr. pastors and those under them, or denominational leadership and the pastors under them). I also mentioned the importance of not entertaining accusations against your pastor w/o first asking questions of your pastor rather than attacking him.

A third way that you can trust your pastor is to let him lead. I briefly touched on this yesterday, but the reader may have missed it (I had to check and find it). This is, by far, a harder one, and one full of land mines, but an important one, none-the-less. Let us assume, for the moment, that everybody has prayed about bringing the pastor on board, and the decision was made to do so because it's believed this is God's will for the church. Let's also assume that the issue at hand isn't a sin issue or a theological one (e.g. he wants to start preaching universalism), but simply a philosophical issue. The pastor has been praying about something - the direction of the church, whether to keep a certain ministry in the church, or whether to start a new ministry - and has made a decision. Unfortunately, the decision he's made is one that many (or just a few) in the congregation don't like, some even for logical reasons beyond their emotional problems with change (which a vast majority of us have, btw). There are two choices I see (though I'm open to other suggestions). You could openly reject the proposal, which could lead to a variety of results, such as leaving the church, firing the pastor, or simply the leadership telling the pastor they won't let him do that. The other option is to trust your pastor and God - Trust God that He's speaking to your pastor; Trust your pastor that he's truly seeking God on this issue, and has heard from Him (many times I've seen and experienced that "logical" reasons for not wanting change have nothing to do with my hearing from God, and everything to do with my own issues); Trust God that, if this isn't from Him, that He will speak clearly to your pastor and let him know. Based on the tone of this post, you can probably guess the choice I believe the reader should choose (check the first two assumptions again, of course): Trust God and your pastor.

As I stated, there are some pitfalls with this choice, but there are pitfalls with choosing the other, too, not the least of which the church loses out on what God wants to do simply because people aren't willing to follow the leader God's put over them. The exact opposite is the obvious pitfall of trusting your pastor when everybody else on the leadership team is saying he's wrong - you might still miss God working. Still, from what I read in scripture, and what I've seen, read, and experienced, I'm convinced that the second choice is by far the best and most Biblical.

And, lest any reader think I'm biased because I'm a pastor, please remember that I've only been a pastor in a church since 2006. Before then I pastored students in a para-church, and simply served in churches. The year before Michael was old enough to take part in our church's mid-week children's ministry, our pastor (and the elders) believed that God led them to shut down the ministry, with no plans for a similar replacement (though they did have plans - don't get me wrong - just nothing similar or traditional). Many in the church were devastated (an understatement for some), including the leaders of the ministry. Shari and I were highly disappointed for Michael. We could have got up in arms, left the church, become bitter, etc. Instead, we trusted God and prayed with and for our leadership, that God would give them wisdom to know how to care for children. I'm not sure how the leadership feels about that decision several years down the road, but I'd do everything the same way again if given the chance, because I trusted the leaders then, and I trust them now to hear from God.

Trust your pastors. They may not have a hotline to God, but they are seeking His face a persistently and genuinely as possible, and truly are endeavoring to hear from Him. Trust them even when their philosophy doesn't agree with yours on how to do things. You may just discover that (GASP!) they were right and you were wrong. It happens.

NOTE: This isn't the end-all to this discussion. I suspect that many of you have other arguments for trust, and even more of you have reasons not to trust your pastors. There are also some valid concerns regarding making sure that there are safeguards to protect both the church and the pastor from poor choices. These are simply my thoughts regarding trusting your pastor in general, based on a question posed to me Tuesday in a conversation regarding - in part - this trust issue. Feel free to leave your comments, though I probably won't have time to develop a discussion about it via this blog. Or, if you know me, feel free to call or visit. I'd love to discuss it more.

Trusting Your Pastor

You can read part 2 here.

During a very difficult conversation yesterday, the issue of trust came up. How can people show that they trust their pastor (or youth pastor, as the case may be). So I've been thinking about that, and I've come up with a few ideas for how those over pastors, and those who are being pastored can show that they trust their pastor. This is a vital part of ministry. If you can't/choose not to for whatever reason trust your pastor, then you need to either leave the church, or ask them to. There's simply very little wiggle room on that one. So, because the boys are waiting for breakfast, here are a couple thoughts on trusting your pastor.

1) Don't believe anything anybody says about them. That sounds extreme, and like you're setting yourself and the church up for a fall, so let me expand on that. What I mean is that if somebody brings an accusation against your pastor, your first response shouldn't be to go and accuse your pastor of whatever it is, then tell them to stop. By doing so you're backing them into a corner they can't get help from (whether guilty or innocent), you're attacking their character (if they deny the charges, you've already called them a liar), and you're completely destroying any relationship - and therefore hope of helping them - you may have had. Instead, you should ask questions of them. For example, maybe this approach would be appropriate: "Paul, I've heard that you're teaching our kids that the Bible teaches that all rock music if of the devil. That doesn't sound like something you'd do, but I was told that by (say their name - if they're not willing to face their accuser, they shouldn't have brought it up), so I thought I'd ask so you can help me get it straightened out." This does two things. It lets the pastor know you believe in them and trust them, and, if I really was preaching that all rock music was sinful, it opens the door for a dialogue about why I'm wrong, and allows me a chance to be taught the truth. If I haven't been teaching that, it allows me an opportunity to share what I was teaching (the context of what was said) without being immediately on the defensive.

What I'm not suggesting is that you do this every time, or that you shouldn't follow up on accusations, especially serious ones. If you know that a pastor's struggled with a particular sin - smoking, for instance - and somebody says they saw him smoking in the men's restroom, not only should you check it out, but you should do so prepared for the worst, even as you approach him with love and compassion. The question approach is still the best approach, but it may be a bit more forward and blunt. Still, a rule-of-thumb is a)ask questions, don't make accusations (accusations show you trust anybody over your pastor) and b)assume he's innocent unless proven guilty (by his admission, or multiple witnesses/proofs if he denies it. After all, walking in to the men's restroom finding him fanning the air even as you smell cigarette smoke on his breath and in the air is not something you can really blow off and say, "I trust you pastor." Trust can be broken.)

A second way that you can show trust of your pastor isn't quite so obvious, but it's huge for building relationship, which is based on trust, and therefore will build trust. Don't wait for your pastor to pursue you. Pursue your pastor. This is especially true if you're over a pastor. Invite them out for coffee. Invite him and his spouse and/or kids for a meal. Not just the first year, but regularly. Do so with an agenda: To ask how he's doing, what's happening in the ministry, and how you can pray for and/or care for him. Then follow through. If he says his wife's struggling with the stress of a pregnancy and caring for a rambunctious two year old, then offer to babysit for a night... and consider it an honor. If he says he's struggling with lust, then keep pursuing him and asking how he's doing at keeping his eye gates under the Spirit's control - not accusatory, but caring. If he says he's struggling with how to care for a kid, then truly do pray, then ask follow-up questions a week or two later, expecting God to be moving. Finally, if you hear something that concerns you, let him know it concerns you, and why. But do so with care and compassion. He may have a perfectly good reason for whatever it is. Are you willing to trust him enough even when you don't necessarily agree with him philosophically about it. After all, God's placed him in leadership over whatever ministry it is, not you.

Ultimately, there may be a place to call a pastor to account - for doing a poor job, for taking the church a different direction then the leadership believes God is calling (4-5 elders hearing one direction, and the pastor hearing another may just be that somebody missed God, either giving/taking the pastoral job, or maybe on whatever the issue is. Yes, 4-5 people could be wrong. Not as likely, but possibly.), or even for a sin issue. But trusting in the first place, and building on that foundation of trust, will be huge for the future if that accounting needs to take place.

I've got one more on my brain, but, if I can, I'll have to get back to it later. I've got to go fix breakfast before I have a mutinee on my hands... or Shari just serves cereal, while I'm wanting eggs and sausage.

PS: None of the scenarios listed above are scenarios I have or am dealing with. I don't want anybody thinking I've started smoking or something like that.