Discipline

The other night I had to discipline my two youngest. For one, it broke my heart to watch his reaction - pain, hurt, and (I think) repentance. The other broke my heart, too, but for the opposite reason - anger, self-justification, and a lack of repentance. A parent can't force a child to repent. All we can do is try and teach the concept through both our words, and our actions, and pray that, through repetition over the years, and maturity, he (or she) will get it. In the mean time, we hurt for them, knowing that, without repentance, they will never truly learn from their mistakes, and they will continue to make similar ones, over and over again, leading to more pain as the discipline becomes more severe. At a young age, this doesn't seem like anything more than a nuisance and inconvenience to a parent, but, as they get older, if they continue to choose not to learn, it can become painful to watch as their discipline gets greater and more serious.
As God watches us, he suffers a similar pain and frustration when we don't repent. As much as our discipline of our children is imperfect, as are our motives (How often do I correct my children simply because they're imposing on my own selfishness rather than because I love them?), how much more perfect is God's motives for disciplining us, as is His discipline. Therefore, how much more so do we need to repent and learn the lessons He's trying to teach us. Yet, so often I find myself having to relearn the same lesson over and over again, either because I'm simply a slow learner, or because I'm still struggling with rebellion and wanting to do it my way.
God, please help me to learn to repent and truly surrender my way for yours. Help me to be a good teacher by example of what true repentance looks like when I sin, especially against my children. In the meantime, thank you, God, for your patience with me as I'm continuing to learn. Please help me to extend that same patience and grace to my children, as well as to those I regularly come into contact with. Amen.
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