Camaraderie
Dictionary.com: comradeship; good fellowship
Paul's definition: Relationship based on shared experiences, especially experiences around a common theme, thread, or interest; the more you share those experiences together, the deeper the relationship, but it's always there.
You can see this definition when you see firemen, policemen, or other EMS personnel coming together, even if they're from totally different cities or states. You see it amongst our military, especially as they argue about which branch is the best. You see it on a sports team. Obviously if you're on the same team, the camaraderie is deeper, but sports players will naturally hang out together, and they'll have a certain something - and intangible - that draws them together, that lets you know you're not one of them, no matter how hard they try to include you... which many will if you're a friend of one of them outside of this gathering.
When I was in choir, there was a camaraderie I had with the other choir members. Even if we didn't like each other, there was still that connection... especially if we wanted to harass or annoy band/orchestra members. When I was a youth pastor, there was a camaraderie amongst the youth pastors I hung out with. We developed relationships based on this one, major, common interest: youth ministry. I have many good friends in youth ministry still, and the fact that I spent 17 years in it gives me the right to continue in that camaraderie to some degree, though it's certainly not like it was when I was in it. There aren't the current shared experiences any more. We're no longer fighting side-by-side, though we know that theologically we are. There's something different; something's changed because I'm not longer in that particular trench, slugging it out with them.
So, now where does that camaraderie come from? How do you build camaraderie with administrative assistants? How about small group pastors? It could be argued that I should be able to build camaraderie with parents, especially parents of teens, but that's not quite the same... at least not for me. So I'm missing something in my heart and soul. I've shared this with my pastor, but he doesn't seem to get it. I'm thinking it's because his idea of camaraderie is different than mine. It could also be because he has such camaraderie amongst the pastors that it's unseen - he doesn't realize what he's got because he's had it so long, or because it's so much a part of his life. I'm not sure, but he doesn't seem to get it. In fact, when I look amongst our church leaders, it seems to be missing in general, even though they're leading together. There's an intangible that I'm not seeing between them that I want - between them, and between me and another man... or two or three.
Therein lies another rub with building camaraderie between admin. assistants. Most of them are female, and camaraderie is something that develops close relationships (or should, to some degree). Me developing that kind of relationship with a woman besides my wife... well, that's not a good idea. Thankfully I have that relationship withg my wife, and we are thoroughly enjoying the camaraderie of working together to serve our small group ministry. However, it's not the same as the camaraderie between men who are serving together.
So, there's my heart right now... and has been for a couple of years now. There's a piece missing, and occasionally it rises up and hurts. When a youth pastor I thought was my friend says he can't even remember those months of talking about youth ministry together actually happening, that hurts. When there's obviously a wall between me and my pastor (though he would be the first to say he doesn't want that wall there) because we're not in even close trenches together anymore (as the director of YD, I wore the double hat of being a head-pastor-type role as well as a youth pastor role), that hurts. When my best friends (both in youth ministry) are too far away to do anything with, and we don't really share a common interest outside of youth ministry and our crazy families, that hurts. So, my prayer to God is: Please, Lord, would you provide a man I can build relationship with, that we can connect with over a common interest - preferably ministry interest - in order to build that deep relationship that can come between two men, and that can build each other up in the You.
Paul's definition: Relationship based on shared experiences, especially experiences around a common theme, thread, or interest; the more you share those experiences together, the deeper the relationship, but it's always there.
You can see this definition when you see firemen, policemen, or other EMS personnel coming together, even if they're from totally different cities or states. You see it amongst our military, especially as they argue about which branch is the best. You see it on a sports team. Obviously if you're on the same team, the camaraderie is deeper, but sports players will naturally hang out together, and they'll have a certain something - and intangible - that draws them together, that lets you know you're not one of them, no matter how hard they try to include you... which many will if you're a friend of one of them outside of this gathering.
When I was in choir, there was a camaraderie I had with the other choir members. Even if we didn't like each other, there was still that connection... especially if we wanted to harass or annoy band/orchestra members. When I was a youth pastor, there was a camaraderie amongst the youth pastors I hung out with. We developed relationships based on this one, major, common interest: youth ministry. I have many good friends in youth ministry still, and the fact that I spent 17 years in it gives me the right to continue in that camaraderie to some degree, though it's certainly not like it was when I was in it. There aren't the current shared experiences any more. We're no longer fighting side-by-side, though we know that theologically we are. There's something different; something's changed because I'm not longer in that particular trench, slugging it out with them.
So, now where does that camaraderie come from? How do you build camaraderie with administrative assistants? How about small group pastors? It could be argued that I should be able to build camaraderie with parents, especially parents of teens, but that's not quite the same... at least not for me. So I'm missing something in my heart and soul. I've shared this with my pastor, but he doesn't seem to get it. I'm thinking it's because his idea of camaraderie is different than mine. It could also be because he has such camaraderie amongst the pastors that it's unseen - he doesn't realize what he's got because he's had it so long, or because it's so much a part of his life. I'm not sure, but he doesn't seem to get it. In fact, when I look amongst our church leaders, it seems to be missing in general, even though they're leading together. There's an intangible that I'm not seeing between them that I want - between them, and between me and another man... or two or three.
Therein lies another rub with building camaraderie between admin. assistants. Most of them are female, and camaraderie is something that develops close relationships (or should, to some degree). Me developing that kind of relationship with a woman besides my wife... well, that's not a good idea. Thankfully I have that relationship withg my wife, and we are thoroughly enjoying the camaraderie of working together to serve our small group ministry. However, it's not the same as the camaraderie between men who are serving together.
So, there's my heart right now... and has been for a couple of years now. There's a piece missing, and occasionally it rises up and hurts. When a youth pastor I thought was my friend says he can't even remember those months of talking about youth ministry together actually happening, that hurts. When there's obviously a wall between me and my pastor (though he would be the first to say he doesn't want that wall there) because we're not in even close trenches together anymore (as the director of YD, I wore the double hat of being a head-pastor-type role as well as a youth pastor role), that hurts. When my best friends (both in youth ministry) are too far away to do anything with, and we don't really share a common interest outside of youth ministry and our crazy families, that hurts. So, my prayer to God is: Please, Lord, would you provide a man I can build relationship with, that we can connect with over a common interest - preferably ministry interest - in order to build that deep relationship that can come between two men, and that can build each other up in the You.
Labels: Friendship, Personal, Prayer
posted by Pastor Paul at
7:02 AM
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