But why?
My dad always hated the question, "Why?" That could be because we always seemed to ask it at the most inopportune times, or maybe because he didn't always have a good reason, and didn't want to admit that it was just because he felt like it at the moment. Whatever the case, he was in a world of hurt because we learned it from our mom, who often asked that questions about anything and everything. So much for my family's silly dysfunctions. Now I'm a youth pastor, and part of my job is trying to help students not only understand truth, but - as best we can as humans - understand the why of truth.
So, why should we trust our pastor. After all, there are plenty of pastors out there who have broken that trust, and hurt people deeply, some so deeply that they've walked away from God. That's just the emotional issues - that doesn't include the fallout from that broken trust, or the physical, financial, or other ways they have broken that trust. Now I haven't been thinking about this as much as my last post, but here are some thoughts off the top of my head because I believe in giving whys and not just shoulds.
First, we must trust pastors until proven otherwise simply because we as spiritual sheep need to be able to trust a pastor of some sort. How many times have literal sheep been let down by a literal shepherd. Yet those same animals (the ones that live through the wolf attack) turn right around and trust the next shepherd because they have to, or they won't be able to care for themselves. Likewise, we have got to trust our shepherds simply because to not trust them is to set ourselves up for even worse pain than if we trust them and get hurt.
Second, we must choose not to allow the excuse of being burned before simply because, if we allow that excuse, we'll never trust again, and that's not healthy either. Much of this has to do with forgiveness, and who our ultimate trust is in, but it also has to do with recognizing that we all are fallible, and we must learn to accept that even a pastor will hurt us occasionally - just as we'll hurt others. Does that mean nobody should trust anybody? We were created for relationships, and, as long as we live in the fallen world, we will hurt and be hurt. Therefore, within reason, we must choose to trust people, even if people in similar roles have wounded us. I guess what I'm saying here is that pastors are human, too, and not trusting them because we've been hurt by pastors before is simply not logical, Christ-like, or healthy. It would be like not trusting all police in a city simply because you had one bad experience with one officer.
It makes me think of the situation where Paul called Peter on the carpet, as related by Paul in Galatians 2. Peter was okay being with non-Jews until Jews he wanted to impress showed up. Should the apostles have kicked Peter out of leadership simply because he broke those Gentiles' trust? Should Paul have no longer trusted any of the apostles from Jerusalem because of Peter's mistake. Not a chance, yet that's what many do with the pastoral role.
Finally, we need to trust our pastor because the Bible says that God has given them watch over our soul. Therefore, if God trusts them, then we need to. Not only that, but if we don't trust them, we're saying we don't trust God's direction. Finally, if we can't trust them, then we can't allow them close enough to fulfill the job God's given them: To watch over our soul. So we're not only hurting them, but ourselves as well.
Of course, all of this is presupposing a pastor who hasn't already caused wounds, or broken trust. Dealing with that beyond just saying, "Forgive" is a deep struggle beyond the parameters of this post, and even of this blog. That's a struggle for a face-to-face discussion, but a struggle definitely worth having, as all of us need to also face the fact that we, too, have caused wounds and broken trust, and need forgiveness and the opportunity to rebuild trust and relationship.
So, for those struggling to trust their pastor(s), I would like to encourage you with a couple of ideas. 1)Ask God for clear direction what pastor you're supposed to be putting yourself under, then obey and trust God. Even if that pastor ends up wounding you (and he probably will to a small degree, at least, since he's human and has bad days like the rest of us), God is using him to care for your soul, and God wants to get some things done in you. That's why he sent you to that church. 2)If you've been wounded, don't automatcally or reflexively jump ship. It may take time to rebuild that trust, but rebuild it you must. God not only commands forgiveness, but He also has created us to be in community, and part of community is pursuing reconciliation and rebuilding of trust. 3)Finally, if the wound is too great to be healed while in the midst of the battle, or if the broken trust is too huge to safely seek reconciliation (e.g. sexual abuse, financial abuse of the church, etc.), or if the pastor's relationship with God leads you to believe that he's no longer able to care for your soul, then there's nothing wrong with asking God for a new pastor in your life. Still, I encourage you to keep praying for that pastor. God still loves him, and his wounds are just as real as yours, even though different, and maybe self-inflicted.
In closing (since that last paragraph seemed a little on the negative side), I want to add that, as human as all pastors are, a vast majority of them are Godly men who truly love the sheep under their care. Even when they wound a sheep, they will seek to pursue reconciliation as soon as they realize what they've done. They are doing the best they can under heavy spiritual - and sometimes congregational - attack. Pray for your pastor. Trust your pastor. To paraphrase Paul, "Follow your pastor as your pastor follows Christ." (I Cor. 11:1)
So, why should we trust our pastor. After all, there are plenty of pastors out there who have broken that trust, and hurt people deeply, some so deeply that they've walked away from God. That's just the emotional issues - that doesn't include the fallout from that broken trust, or the physical, financial, or other ways they have broken that trust. Now I haven't been thinking about this as much as my last post, but here are some thoughts off the top of my head because I believe in giving whys and not just shoulds.
First, we must trust pastors until proven otherwise simply because we as spiritual sheep need to be able to trust a pastor of some sort. How many times have literal sheep been let down by a literal shepherd. Yet those same animals (the ones that live through the wolf attack) turn right around and trust the next shepherd because they have to, or they won't be able to care for themselves. Likewise, we have got to trust our shepherds simply because to not trust them is to set ourselves up for even worse pain than if we trust them and get hurt.
Second, we must choose not to allow the excuse of being burned before simply because, if we allow that excuse, we'll never trust again, and that's not healthy either. Much of this has to do with forgiveness, and who our ultimate trust is in, but it also has to do with recognizing that we all are fallible, and we must learn to accept that even a pastor will hurt us occasionally - just as we'll hurt others. Does that mean nobody should trust anybody? We were created for relationships, and, as long as we live in the fallen world, we will hurt and be hurt. Therefore, within reason, we must choose to trust people, even if people in similar roles have wounded us. I guess what I'm saying here is that pastors are human, too, and not trusting them because we've been hurt by pastors before is simply not logical, Christ-like, or healthy. It would be like not trusting all police in a city simply because you had one bad experience with one officer.
It makes me think of the situation where Paul called Peter on the carpet, as related by Paul in Galatians 2. Peter was okay being with non-Jews until Jews he wanted to impress showed up. Should the apostles have kicked Peter out of leadership simply because he broke those Gentiles' trust? Should Paul have no longer trusted any of the apostles from Jerusalem because of Peter's mistake. Not a chance, yet that's what many do with the pastoral role.
Finally, we need to trust our pastor because the Bible says that God has given them watch over our soul. Therefore, if God trusts them, then we need to. Not only that, but if we don't trust them, we're saying we don't trust God's direction. Finally, if we can't trust them, then we can't allow them close enough to fulfill the job God's given them: To watch over our soul. So we're not only hurting them, but ourselves as well.
Of course, all of this is presupposing a pastor who hasn't already caused wounds, or broken trust. Dealing with that beyond just saying, "Forgive" is a deep struggle beyond the parameters of this post, and even of this blog. That's a struggle for a face-to-face discussion, but a struggle definitely worth having, as all of us need to also face the fact that we, too, have caused wounds and broken trust, and need forgiveness and the opportunity to rebuild trust and relationship.
So, for those struggling to trust their pastor(s), I would like to encourage you with a couple of ideas. 1)Ask God for clear direction what pastor you're supposed to be putting yourself under, then obey and trust God. Even if that pastor ends up wounding you (and he probably will to a small degree, at least, since he's human and has bad days like the rest of us), God is using him to care for your soul, and God wants to get some things done in you. That's why he sent you to that church. 2)If you've been wounded, don't automatcally or reflexively jump ship. It may take time to rebuild that trust, but rebuild it you must. God not only commands forgiveness, but He also has created us to be in community, and part of community is pursuing reconciliation and rebuilding of trust. 3)Finally, if the wound is too great to be healed while in the midst of the battle, or if the broken trust is too huge to safely seek reconciliation (e.g. sexual abuse, financial abuse of the church, etc.), or if the pastor's relationship with God leads you to believe that he's no longer able to care for your soul, then there's nothing wrong with asking God for a new pastor in your life. Still, I encourage you to keep praying for that pastor. God still loves him, and his wounds are just as real as yours, even though different, and maybe self-inflicted.
In closing (since that last paragraph seemed a little on the negative side), I want to add that, as human as all pastors are, a vast majority of them are Godly men who truly love the sheep under their care. Even when they wound a sheep, they will seek to pursue reconciliation as soon as they realize what they've done. They are doing the best they can under heavy spiritual - and sometimes congregational - attack. Pray for your pastor. Trust your pastor. To paraphrase Paul, "Follow your pastor as your pastor follows Christ." (I Cor. 11:1)
Labels: Church, Leadership, Youth Ministry
posted by Pastor Paul at
9:31 AM
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