Still not perfect... Rats!

I was reminded again today, in many ways, of just how selfish and covetous I am. I took the boys to the AWANA Spark-o-Rama, T&T Bible Quizing, and then T&T Game Day. Yesterday afternoon I was asked to be Michael's coach for Bible Quiz. I'm as bad as most people at being comfortable with trying new things when others are depending on me. I want to learn how to do it first, then do it, not learn as I go while others are watching. I know - it's not realistic for most of life, but it's what I like. To add to the difficulty, not only did I not know how quizzing worked (I hate it when people treat you like everybody knows how this works, so you should to), but this was Michael's first time, too... and he was the only one on his team. Not just the only new guy, but the only person. Every other team (I later discovered) had 2-4 students, and a couple churches had two teams. All this to say that, with being drafted at the last minute, not being comfortable with doing new things, and not getting a lot of sleep last night, or sleeping well, I wasn't in the best of moods, and definitely didn't show my boys a Christ-like attitude towards them, towards this event, or, most importantly, towards doing this thing as unto the Lord. I had to repent... not for the first time today.

During lunch, most of the folks were buying lunch at the concession stand, or had brought pretty nice lunches. Due a little to not having money (payday was today - that's a praise for a different post), but mostly to a lack of planning on my part, there wasn't enough bread for lunch, and not really anything else, either. So, the boys got sandwiches, and I got an orange. Benjamin got a yogurt, as he's on antibiotics for a sinus infection. Oh, and each kid got a slice of zucchini bread. Do I sound like I'm whining? I am. I was. I was feeling sorry for myself, and knew I was wrong to do so, but didn't want to stop. Then God slapped me up side the head with something besides the fact that I need to lose a few pounds, so the small lunch didn't hurt me in the least. One of the AWANA leaders has as spinal/nervous system disease that effects her in a variety of ways. One of the major ways she has to fight it is with her diet. As I was eating my orange, I watched her daughter getting her lunch. Now, it wasn't bad - and was actually very healthy on top of it, though I think I'd balk at the seaweed - but the point is, she doesn't have a choice. She has to eat that stuff, or her body does all sorts of bad things. Yes, I didn't have the variety or amount that I'd like, but, the reality is that I don't need the amount I'd like, and at least I can eat whatever I want when I have it. My house isn't in danger of being foreclosed, like a friend of mine in Moses Lake. I'm not making double house payments like another friend of mine because he couldn't sell his first one before he moved into his second one. In short, I may not be comfortable, but I've got to do what I keep trying to teach and tell my boys - be thankful for what I do have, praising God for it. Praise God that I'm healthy. Praise God that I got to eat an orange, which I haven't had in a while. Praise God that my boys didn't go hungry. Praise God that we had a wonderful, healthy dinner tonight. Praise God! Quit whining, and be thankful in all circumstances, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Paul said that the secret was that we can, "do all things through Christ who gives us strength."

So, for those reading this who are struggling significantly more than I, please accept my apologies for being so selfish and greedy. Though I've repented, I may continue to struggle with it. Please pray that God would continue to convict and teach me to be thankful in all situations, and be more Christ like in my attitudes. Rats! After so many years of following Christ, I wish I didn't have to relearn all this stuff all the time. I look forward to some day being like Jesus. Some day...