Dell - Just like Jesus?
For starters: This is a light, non-serious post. Keep reading, but don't expect anything deep here.
Yesterday I spent 1 hour and 17 minutes on the phone with Dell. The problem: My Outlook was freezing up when I tried to forward an e-mail. The answer (so you know before the end of the story) was probably that I was trying to forward a comic, and the company that provided it probably put something in it that kept it from being forwarded easily. This, in turn, made it more likely that people would sign up for the comic service rather than just have comics forwarded all over the place. It's fixed, but my youth group computer has a similar issue, and it's not fixed yet. Later.
So, what I'm wanting to say is that Dell's customer service is like Jesus. Yeah, I thought that would get you reading, just to find out what in the world I'm talking about. God, in all His amazingness, is full of paradoxes (things that exist together, yet are opposites). How can He be all-knowing, and still give us free will? How can the Trinity exist? How can He be so amazingly gracious, and yet just and fair, too? Paradox. But this is supposed to be a light post.
For the second time in a few months, I called Dell yesterday to find out how I could have a warranty run out, and still have a warranty until 2010. The last time I called, I got a lady who communicated to me that she didn't have a clue, and that I was covered until 2010. That's good, seeing as I payed a couple hundred for that extra warranty. This time, the lady explained that there are two different warranties, but that they essentially covered the same thing. They are different only on paper, but that I'm still covered until 2010. So I went on to the next several problems, and got fairly decent customer service, other than a bit of a run around for my last question (re: the email). Finally I got the right department, only to find out what that 1-year warranty above was really for - software! Yep! A month ago, that wonderful, free customer service I had received for all my software problems had come to an end. What a great way (and time) to find out. The gentleman (located somewhere in Asia, I'm sure) explained that it would cost me an arm and half my leg (my choice which half) to either renew the warranty or simply pay for this phone call. I proceeded to explain to him my opinion of people not explaining this to me after two phone calls and 20-30 minutes of people asking me for all my information, only to transfer me eventually to him so he could tell me this. I especially was a little testy because this was on my cell (read: minutes=money). Still, I tried not to shoot the messenger, since he was at the end of the line, and hadn't been the one not telling me stuff.
So, this is where the paradox comes in. After explaining my frustration, and the man explaining there was really nothing he could do, with his utmost apologies, he proceeded to do something. He spent the next 20-30 minutes proceeding to "not help" me by fixing my computer via remote access (that was scary and cool at the same time, but that's another issue). He didn't have to help, and I was prepared to let it go. I have one more free phone call to Microsoft for help left. Instead, he spent the time to earn my support back. It ended as a great experience (accent aside), and everything's working again... including the rest of my computer, much better than it had been, and I received some good advice to go with it.
Paradox - two opposites working together. Jesus is full of them. Dell's customer service now has one. Thankfully, my youth group computer is still under that 1-year warranty.
Labels: Miscellaneous
posted by Pastor Paul at
6:18 AM
3 Comments:
So would Apple be the Antichrist? Juxtaposing the logo with the Garden of Eden kind of bears that out. Or is Apple analogous to Israel, and Microsoft the fulfillment of the computational covenant?
The idea of Pope William reigning from Redmond is a disturbing one. I think I'd best not go there.
I know that's not the point you were making, but it was too much fun to pass up.
By
Joel, at 10:59 AM
Good fun is a good thing. Glad you got a laugh.
By
Pastor Paul, at 9:02 PM
I don't know why I didn't think sooner of Umberto Eco's famous thoughts on the religious implications of operating systems:
The fact is that the world is divided between users of the Macintosh computer and users of MS-DOS compatible computers. I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the ratio studiorum of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory; it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach -- if not the kingdom of Heaven -- the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: The essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.
DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. It allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can achieve salvation. To make the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: Far away from the baroque community of revelers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his own inner torment.
You may object that, with the passage to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the counter-reformist tolerance of the Macintosh. It's true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things in accordance with bizarre decisions: When it comes down to it, you can decide to ordain women and gays if you want to.
Naturally, the Catholicism and Protestantism of the two systems have nothing to do with the cultural and religious positions of their users. One may wonder whether, as time goes by, the use of one system rather than another leads to profound inner changes. Can you use DOS and be a Vande supporter? And more: Would Celine have written using Word, WordPerfect, or Wordstar? Would Descartes have programmed in Pascal?
And machine code, which lies beneath and decides the destiny of both systems (or environments, if you prefer)? Ah, that belongs to the Old Testament, and is talmudic and cabalistic.
His biases show a little, but it sets you thinking of ways to stretch the analogies. Go ahead. See if you can stop. It's kind of like potato chips; nobody can eat just one. :)
By
Joel, at 9:17 PM
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