Confession is good for the soul... but not the job.
"Therefore confess your sins to each other, and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
Scot McKnight has a powerful blog post on confessing our sins. It's a powerful discussion about how we not only put pastors on a pedestal, putting unrealistic pressure on them to be perfect, but, when they admit they even struggle with temptation, we tend to treat them as if they aren't able to pastor at all. It's as if pastors aren't allowed to be tempted, and definitely not to sin. If they do sin, they have to step down and not minister any more.
There are many issues at stake here, not the least of which is the call we all have to holiness, and the scriptural mandate that spiritual leaders are to be held to a higher standard. On the other hand, how in the world can they maintain that high standard if they aren't allowed to confess their sin and have somebody who will walk through temptation with them. That's my bigger issue (and Scot's, though I may have gotten to it different than he). People hold us (I am one, so I guess this applies to me, too) to a higher standard, then forget that we're just as human as they. What, we have more time to spend with God, so we have fewer temptations? Not a chance. Each pastor needs to have somebody whom they can confess their sins to in order to avoid that common problem of hiding our sin until it's totally out of control, and we have to be forced to step down. I'm not talking about somebody who has authority over me. I'm talking about somebody who will walk through those things with me; somebody who will help me confess my sin so that I can seek God's forgiveness and restoration right away; somebody who will help me struggle with temptation right when I'm tempted, not after sin has led to death, and now I need some serious boundaries and discipline.
Rusty Van Deusen, my friend and mentor from my first years at YD, once explained it this way(Forgive me, Rusty, if I butcher the anaglogy.). We're riding a bike along a road that has a cliff on either side. Therefore we put up a hedge (not just a fence, but a thick hedge) along the edge. A wise man realizes that the best bicyclists will lose control occassionally. Therefore, instead of putting the hedge right along the edge, he puts the hedge quite a ways away from the edge, yet still with plenty of room in the road. That way, when one crashes through the hedge (and not just into it), there's still plenty of room before you go off the cliff. Then, of course, you have to repair the break in the hedge so you don't go farther the next time. My point is that having a friend who won't condemn me - having a church that allows me to confess sin and temptation without being afraid of losing my job or ministry - having a church body who realize that I'm as human as they, and we all need to confess our sins to each other - is putting that hedge considerably off the road. That way, should I crash through - should I fall into temptation, or start down the path of sin - I will have friends whom I can trust to love me and stop me - like the hedge - instead of waiting until I fall of the ledge and crash and burn, then pick up the pieces and tell me I should have stayed on the road.
Well, if I've totally confused you, read Scot's post. It's written better than mine. Maybe between the two of us, you'll get the idea of how you can love your pastor today (or tomorrow). In the meantime, please pray for me, as I'd like to find a friend (or a fellow pastor) that I can do that with here in Lolo. I sure miss the ones I had in Moses Lake (Doug and Jim, among others).
... And, for the record: No, I'm not speaking of anything I'm specifically dealing with and ready to come out of the closet on here. I'm being general, so don't let your minds start wondering. Ummm... it's not too late to say that, is it?
Scot McKnight has a powerful blog post on confessing our sins. It's a powerful discussion about how we not only put pastors on a pedestal, putting unrealistic pressure on them to be perfect, but, when they admit they even struggle with temptation, we tend to treat them as if they aren't able to pastor at all. It's as if pastors aren't allowed to be tempted, and definitely not to sin. If they do sin, they have to step down and not minister any more.
There are many issues at stake here, not the least of which is the call we all have to holiness, and the scriptural mandate that spiritual leaders are to be held to a higher standard. On the other hand, how in the world can they maintain that high standard if they aren't allowed to confess their sin and have somebody who will walk through temptation with them. That's my bigger issue (and Scot's, though I may have gotten to it different than he). People hold us (I am one, so I guess this applies to me, too) to a higher standard, then forget that we're just as human as they. What, we have more time to spend with God, so we have fewer temptations? Not a chance. Each pastor needs to have somebody whom they can confess their sins to in order to avoid that common problem of hiding our sin until it's totally out of control, and we have to be forced to step down. I'm not talking about somebody who has authority over me. I'm talking about somebody who will walk through those things with me; somebody who will help me confess my sin so that I can seek God's forgiveness and restoration right away; somebody who will help me struggle with temptation right when I'm tempted, not after sin has led to death, and now I need some serious boundaries and discipline.
Rusty Van Deusen, my friend and mentor from my first years at YD, once explained it this way(Forgive me, Rusty, if I butcher the anaglogy.). We're riding a bike along a road that has a cliff on either side. Therefore we put up a hedge (not just a fence, but a thick hedge) along the edge. A wise man realizes that the best bicyclists will lose control occassionally. Therefore, instead of putting the hedge right along the edge, he puts the hedge quite a ways away from the edge, yet still with plenty of room in the road. That way, when one crashes through the hedge (and not just into it), there's still plenty of room before you go off the cliff. Then, of course, you have to repair the break in the hedge so you don't go farther the next time. My point is that having a friend who won't condemn me - having a church that allows me to confess sin and temptation without being afraid of losing my job or ministry - having a church body who realize that I'm as human as they, and we all need to confess our sins to each other - is putting that hedge considerably off the road. That way, should I crash through - should I fall into temptation, or start down the path of sin - I will have friends whom I can trust to love me and stop me - like the hedge - instead of waiting until I fall of the ledge and crash and burn, then pick up the pieces and tell me I should have stayed on the road.
Well, if I've totally confused you, read Scot's post. It's written better than mine. Maybe between the two of us, you'll get the idea of how you can love your pastor today (or tomorrow). In the meantime, please pray for me, as I'd like to find a friend (or a fellow pastor) that I can do that with here in Lolo. I sure miss the ones I had in Moses Lake (Doug and Jim, among others).
... And, for the record: No, I'm not speaking of anything I'm specifically dealing with and ready to come out of the closet on here. I'm being general, so don't let your minds start wondering. Ummm... it's not too late to say that, is it?
Labels: Friendship, Youth Ministry
posted by Pastor Paul at
8:15 PM
5 Comments:
There's a seven-word solution to most sin problems: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." I've often thought that more churches could benefit from a version of the confessional, which makes it possible to acknowledge your sins out loud without being forced to defend yourself against people who don't share your struggles.
By
Joel, at 1:36 PM
Yes, I think that would be a better step than what we have. Maybe it's a realistic expectation to begin with. I've often thought it's one of the most Biblical concepts Protestants have given up. However, I am convinced from scripture that God's desire would be that we would learn to confess in the context of relationships. Now, if we can just learn to love each other enough not to condemn each other, w/o giving up our call to holding each other accountable for our actions. The joys of relationships and being imperfect.
By
Pastor Paul, at 7:26 AM
However, I am convinced from scripture that God's desire would be that we would learn to confess in the context of relationships.
That's more or less what I was thinking of. I didn't mean sacramental confession in a Catholic/Orthodox sense; that would be theologically problematic for Protestants. But if there were a way to do anonymous confession of sins between laypeople, I think it would be enormously beneficial for two reasons.
The first is that it enables the penitent to put his sins in perspective. There have been times when I did something I was very ashamed of, waited all week to get to confession, and spent the whole time beating myself over the head about what a despicable, vile thing I had done. Then, when I actually got into the confessional and spoke the words out loud, I found it wasn't nearly the earthshaking thing I had built it up into. It was still sin, but it was just ordinary sin like anybody might commit, whereas I had convinced myself that it would have strained even God's mercy. Conversely, I've committed what I thought of as little sins, brought them up in confession, and been shown that they were a part of a larger pattern I hadn't noticed forming.
The second thing is that it provides a realization of the immediacy of God's mercy; it makes an ending point. After I leave the little confessional booth, I don't have to keep asking myself if I was really as repentent as I said I was, or worry about whether I was forgiven because I didn't feel forgiven. Making a formal confession means you can't convince yourself afterward that you're still burdened by that sin. There's a definitive point at which your conscience is clear, which is something that's hard to get when you confess silently to God.
But the other extreme is worse: that of airing your sins to the whole congregation. I know the earliest Christians did it, and it's probably a wonderful deterrent, but it presumes too much on the ability of others to resist the temptation to use your confession against you. The Lord might have cast your sin as far as the east is from the west, but the folks in the next pew don't have His ability to forget. (I'm told that part of a priest's training is in listening to confessions with half an ear, so even if they recognize your voice they can't remember an hour later what you actually said.)
If there were a way to arrange one-on-one confessions similar in setup to the Cathodox model (minus the sacramental theology, of course), I think you'd find a lot of Evangelicals coming to terms with their own sinfulness much more readily.
By
Joel, at 9:14 PM
I would be interested in what the theological problems Protestants have with the Catholic version of confession. Mainly, not having any experience with this, I'm clueless how to even discuss this intelligently. If there are theological (Biblical?) problems with it, then I would be interested in discussing why you're okay with it. If it is Biblical (or at least not anti-Biblical), then the question would be, "Why don't we practice it, or at least some version of it (like you've suggested here). I sent Sam Houston my e-mail address to connect with you. Hopefully she gets it to you.
By
Pastor Paul, at 8:42 AM
I probably won't see her until Monday, but my e-mail is jbmartin@nwi.net. This could be an interesting discussion, as it deals with a lot of the key differences between Papes and Prods.
By
Joel, at 5:00 PM
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